CRACKED WALNUT
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excerpt from "Insomnia & Sleep Notes"
​by Jenniey Tallman


viii.
After so many years of it now u learn a new way 2 rest where rapid eye movement does not insist
distress b/c once u were awake on a 3 day stint of sleep refusal  &  finally broke down at 4 am
--
a tree quaking in wind  /  a splash of meteorite from Jupiter — [u see it coming: PREDICTABLE
but UNSTOPPABLE  &  if u r not  in bed  hallucinating  /  fighting the urge 2 scratch the walls  /
scream in the  bathroom  /  u r  on the kitchen floor  petting the cat  again]  so  from then on  u no
longer aim 4 sleep but lie calmly in bed  not expecting it anymore than a meteor  / an earthquake:
​
close ur eyes  &  listen thru earbuds  2 MTM  / Doctor Bailey & Meredith Grey  / Clair  / Niles  /
Sam & Diane where  Everybody Knows Your Name  &  it lulls u  / even if it does not lead 2 rapid
eye movement  —  it lulls u.
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